How much more can they take? What will these cereal corporations tell them next? That they allowed that poor rabbit to have Trix once in a while? Just ask his therapist if that's really true. They're already being hypnotized by the Cap'n's blank, soulless stare every time they go to the grocery store. Their young and impressionable minds don't deserve to be subjected to these lies. Not only is this a serious offense for the U.S. "We have notified NCIS and we’re looking into whether or not he’s impersonating a naval officer - and that’s a serious offense." ![]() Navy’s news desk at the Pentagon, told WSJ. Commander Chris Servello, director of the U.S. "We have no Cap’n Crunch in the personnel records - and we checked," Lt. The Wall Street Journal decided to probe deeper into this monumental scandal by launching an investigation with the cooperation of the U.S. So what's the deal, "Cap'n" Crunch? Is Crunch even your real last name? ![]() Three stripes! A Naval captain's uniform actually has four stripes. Most brand icons in those days had full names, whether they were ever explicitly mentioned, or not. Since the cereal was introduced in 1963, its jolly mascot has been going around calling himself a captain and saying captain-y things like "All hands on deck!" Last year, a food blogger discovered that he doesn't deserve to be called Cap'n at all.Ī Foodbeast blogger made the history-changing discovery that Cap'n Crunch's uniform only has three stripes on the cuffs. He is a widely known figure within the computer programming world and the hacker and security community, and generally lives a nomadic lifestyle. In a scandal that might shatter your entire existence, it's been revealed that celebrated breakfast hero Cap'n Crunch is living a lie and dragging all of us down with him: Cap'n Crunch is a commander, not a captain. John Thomas Draper (born March 11, 1943), also known as Captain Crunch, Crunch, or Crunchman (after the Capn Crunch breakfast cereal mascot), is an American computer programmer and former phone phreak.
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